so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
