addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize