No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize