I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
