physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
