I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
