Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
