so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
