I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
