There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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