i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
