I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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