Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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