Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize