Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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