Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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