I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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