I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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