the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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