It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
