Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize