if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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