Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize