What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
