So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize