I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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