dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
