Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
