the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I will pee on everything he values.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
