Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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