White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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