Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
