But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
