You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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