Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
