State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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