I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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