I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
