I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
