I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm just crazy horny about you
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
