She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
