The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
