I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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