It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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