When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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