I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
