After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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