i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
