We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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