I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
