You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
