she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
