i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
