ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
